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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25159534">Little Shop of Passports</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bimothra/pseuds/bimothra'>bimothra</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Half Life VR But The AI Is Self-Aware</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe- Little Shop of Horrors AU, FEEED me gordon, a guy gets killed and im sorry to say its a hot one :(</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 04:34:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,563</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25159534</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bimothra/pseuds/bimothra</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A short oneshot based off a HLVRAI Little Shop of Horrors AU. It is what it says on the can. Benrey want food.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>93</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>On a cold, dark, September evening, two very important things were about to happen on Skid Row.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Firstly, a young man named Barney Calhoun was about to turn the corner into the alleyway behind Coomer’s. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Secondly, a thorny vine was snaking its way outside, tired of being hungry. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man backed up slightly, looking around- registering that this was not the place he was supposed to be. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now, as Skid Row was dangerous as it was mysterious, this was bad news. Barney could get attacked. He could get robbed!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Or he could get stabbed in the back by a plant.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Either way. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Barney was the one wilting that night, as the vine wrapped itself around his dying midsection, dragging him through the back door that someone had left lying ajar. There was a LOT of blood on the floor, but it was fine. That was called “roughin’ a meal”. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eventually, the corpse made its way to the larger-than-usual plant, it dangling the corpse above its gaping maw and shaking it like a Juicy Drop Pop that was all out of juice. The plant hovered the corpse closer, the idea of a full meal was so TANTALIZING, the plant was so HUNGRY…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It could get more food later.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The plant had work to do.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It dropped the corpse on the ground, sliding its vine into the gaping wound- it fit like a glove. Unfortunately, the wound went all the way through the other side, which was… very scary. Not friendly OR personable in the slightest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Something had to be done.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Another vine wormed its way out of Coomer’s, back into the alleyway. It flipped the dumpster open loudy (but not too loudly) and started rummaging through it. Let’s see here, let’s see here… An old security vest. Now that could work! And it needed another thing to hide the corpse’s face, to finish the look…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The vine grabbed a bent piece of scrap metal, twisting it even further into an ovular shape. It dragged the arts and crafts project back inside, plant parts wiggling around as they played dress-up with their new corpse puppet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Perfect. It was like they were a whole new man. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>...Now to figure out how this ‘standing’ thing works. A little pressure here, some SLIIIGHT floating there…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“WHAT THE FUCK?!” The lights flipped on, only to reveal the wimpy young adult that the plant had been bugging for blood for a few weeks now- None other than Mr. Gordon Freeman. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t the only worker there, though- there was the object of Gordon’s affections, Tommy Coolatta, and the married owners, Dr. Bubby and Dr. Coomer. All of them constantly wandering the store made eating so HARD for the plant these days…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But that’s exactly why they needed this corpse-smelly-human-thing. To talk to Gordon.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“St-stay back! Don’t fucking touch the plant, robber!” Gordon shouted, a quiver in his voice as he twirled the broom like a bo staff, pointing the wooden end at the ‘human’ as his body shook. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“ahaha, yo, gordon… it’s ME, man,” the plant said casually, a vine carefully wiggling up the corpse’s back as it made him raise his arms, grinning smugly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gordon hesitated, but then he saw a peek of green underneath the security vest. And then… it clicked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...</span>
  <em>
    <span>Twoey?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay. First of all.” The corpse leaned forward, pointing accusingly at Gordon as his helmet slid down his face. “that name is fuckin’ LAME. i’m…” The corpse stopped, remembering the passport the man had in his back pocket. A vine took it out slowly, reading it- or, well, TRYING to. Language was hard. You have to give them a LITTLE credit- they learned it all from listening to the klutzy Gordon’s rambles. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“i’m benrey now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...Benrey??”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“BENREYYYY.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon swallowed harshly, putting the broom down. “Okay. My plant is now TALKING to me. This is fine. This is great! This is completely… completely normal.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“heh. ‘your’ plant. nice one.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m… just going to ignore that. What do you want, Benrey?” Gordon asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <b>feed </b>
  <span>me, freeman,” Benrey growled, licking his lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gordon held up his hands, showing off how bandaged up they were. “Look, man. I don’t GOT food. I’m EMPTY. Don’t you have some kind of- of VEGAN substitute or some shit?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“must be blood,” Benrey whined, crossing his arms. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“God- GORDON DOESN’T HAVE BLOOD, OKAY?! Can’t you- can’t I just steal some from the blood drive or something?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“must be fresh,” Benrey pouted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gordon dragged a hand down his face. “Great. A plant that talks and it’s a fucking child.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“FEED MEEEEEEEEEE,” Benrey whined, at a frequency that could shatter glass. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“ARGH- I CAN’T, MAN! What- look at you! That’s a corpse, isn’t it?!” Gordon gestured to Benrey’s body.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“uh, no. this is uh… a living man,” Benrey muttered, looking away. “‘sides! i needed it to talk to yoooouuuu, feetman!” He smiled, dragging the ends of his mouth up with his fingers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t- you don’t fucking get to call me that right now,” Gordon groaned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“whatever. i’ll stop callin’ you feetman if you feed me maybe? feed me please? now? right now?” Benrey hopped forward, the vines behind him starting to drag.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ugh- what are you suggesting?” Gordon began to chuckle, humouring his own thoughts. “Like, killing someone else to feed you or something?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stopped laughing when he realized Benrey was staring at him intently.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...Benrey that’s a joke. We don’t kill people.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Benrey?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“oh, iunno…” Benrey muttered, swinging on the balls of his feet. “i’m sure you can find SOOOMEone who deserves to die…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stop- why are you trying to be all cute with that shit?? This is MURDER, Benrey. MUR-DURR. Do you understand what you’re trying to fucking ask of me?!” Gordon wheezed, gesturing to himself wildly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“what, like it’s hard?” Benrey grunted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“WH-YES! VERY!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Benrey chuckled darkly, the entire plant rustling sardonically. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“c’mooooon, gordos. don’t be a prude. FEED ME.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...Does it have to be human?” Gordon asked, leaning closer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <b>FEED ME.”</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...Does it have to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>mine??”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“gordooooooon…” Benrey said in a sing-songy voice, lifting himself onto the plant, and using- well, himself- as a pedestal. “you want- you want playstation plus? i can get it for you. famous streamer? i can make it happen. I’m not human, bro… i’m out of this woooorld.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gordon ran his tongue over his lips. A streamer… he’d always wanted to make it big and out of Skid Row. And Benrey could… give that to him?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I dunno, man. Still doesn’t condone murder,” Gordon said quietly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“feed me, gordon! feed me all night loooong, ‘cause if you feed me, gordon, i can grow up BIG AND STROOOOOOOONG-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Benrey’s slightly tone-deaf singing got cut off by Gordon sticking his hands over Benrey’s mouth. “SHHHH! I hear something.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The two of them looked through the window, only to see the sputtering of a motorcycle coming to a halt. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a man in a beret and leather jacket, and riding on the bike with him… Was Tommy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Whatever Benrey said, it was muffled, but he sounded annoyed. Gordon gave him a look, as they waited for something to happen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy and- Frozen, was it? That fucked up dentist guy- They talked for a bit. Not that they could hear much. Then, things got hairy, and one thing led to another- Forzen ended up slapping Tommy in the face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gordon let out a small gasp, and his brow furrowed. Tommy, cherub-sent-to-earth Tommy Coolatta was dating a CREEP like that, and he had the audacity to treat him like THAT?!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then, Gordon felt a sharp pain in his hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>God fucking dammit, Benrey bit it. He swore under his breath, yanking his hand away from Benrey’s face. “God! What GIVES, man?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“i wanna taaaalk.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? What do you gotta say, dude? I’m kinda fuckin’ pissed right now,” Gordon hissed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“yeah that’s it bro. FEEEEEL that gamer rage. now d’you get it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey grinned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“if you want a rationale, it isn’t very hard to see.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No- NO. Absolutely not. No. I’m not fucking-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gordon trailed off, feeling Benrey’s ice-cold hands cup his cheeks as he lowered Gordon down to his level.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“dunno man. the guy sure looks like plant food to me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gordon sighed, then nodded. He was going to get Tommy out of that hellish relationship- out of here, out of Skid Row, out of misery-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All he needed to do was one small thing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The guy sure looks like plant food to me,” Gordon repeated.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then, Benrey gave him a smooch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...What?” Gordon murmured, blood dripping off his lip.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Benrey smiled. “snack for the road.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This was going to be the beginning of a weird, WEIRD partnership.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. DENTIST!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>somewhere in heaven above me... i know that my mama’s proud of me!<br/>oh, mama...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>A motorcycle was truly the perfect partner.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The guttural growl, the finely sculpted curves… And it was even as cold and unfeeling as Forzen Scrivello DDS was.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What a perfect pair. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Forzen coasted along the streets, motorcycle putt-putt-putting all the way. He grinned, humming a tune to himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When I was younger, just a bad little kid… my momma noticed funny things I did!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Like shootin’ puppies with a BB gun… I’d poison guppies, and when I was done? I’d find a pussy cat and BASH ITS HEAD!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Forzen laughed. “That’s when my momma said…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He came to a stop, combing back his hair as he entered his workplace, throwing open another door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She said ‘My boy, I think someday… you’ll find a way to make those natural tendencies pay.~”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He threw off his leather jacket, it landing directly on his client.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ll be a dentist! You have a talent for causing things PAIN!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Forzen kicked open his toolbox, his client watching him nervously.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So be a dentist!” He smirked, giving his client a wink. “People will pay you to be inhumane!~”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As he started up his drills one by one, he hummed, striking a pose in the mirror. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your temperament’s WRONG for the priesthood… and teaching would suit you still LESS!” Forzen laughed, kicking the dentist chair up with his foot. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So be a deeentist…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ll be a success.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As Gordon entered the dentist’s office, he paled at the face when he heard what could only be described as loud, mechanical buzzing, screaming, and maniacal laughter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The front desk phone rang, and before the secretary could pick it up, Gordon snatched it, flashing her an awkward grin when she gave him a confused glare.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh… it’s for me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gordon put the phone up to his ear. “Hello?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“heyyyyy, gordon meatman. you ready to be my delivery boy?” Benrey’s growly voice came through the receiver. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Gah- BENREY! Don’t- don’t say it like that! He’s a creep and he… he deserves this. But you don’t have to be so… ENTHUSIASTIC about it!” Gordon hissed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“what, i’m not allowed to enjoy dinner time now? mean. so mean.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“YOU- Nevermind. Listen, I’ll do your dirty fucking deed, so just chill until I get back. Okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“kay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bye.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“byeeeee~”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gordon put down the phone and awkwardly looked back at the secretary. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...Do you guys do walk-ins?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>—-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gordon was sitting in the waiting room, twiddling his thumbs when the natural peace was disturbed by a disheveled dentist stumbling into the waiting room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“YOU!” He said, grabbing Gordon by the collar.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh, hey-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If I shoved this drill in yer mouth, it’d HURT, right? You’d SCREAM, right?” Forzen said, his voice rising to a yell.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Um- yes- I think maybe- I don’t know- yeah-” Gordon managed to squeak out a half-answer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“GOOD. Come with me.” Forzen dragged Gordon back into the patient rooms, setting him up in a chair. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mmmmm… I feel like I know ya,” Forzen mused, adjusting his lights. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Me? Yeah, we- you met me yesterday. I’m, uh, I’m Tommy’s friend?” Gordon piped up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh… the shrimp. It’s comin’ back to me now,” Forzen mumbled. “Listen, Gordy, there’s AAAALWAYS time for dental health. Y’see this?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He turned on a diagram of what was clearly a very exaggerated decaying mouth. “Boy, if you don’t take care of your teeth, THIS’LL happen. Y’understand?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gordon nodded as fast as his head would allow, glasses nearly falling off his head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Goood. Now… just settle down and let me at ‘em.” Forzen clambered onto Gordon, bodies uncomfortably close. The tension was only heightened when he pulled out a clearly rusty drill. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s- holy shit dude, that’s not-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s VINTAGE,” Forzen growled. “They just don’t make ‘em like this anymore.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stopped for a second. “Mmmmm… gonna need the gas for this one.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, thank FUCK, for a second there I was worried…” Gordon sighed in relief.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not for YOU, man, how else am I supposed to have FUN?” Forzen said, attaching the gas mask to his own face. He breathed in deeply, dark laughter beginning to fill the room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ahuh huh huh… Maaaaan.” Forzen inhaled deeply, playing with his fucked up tools as Gordon, hands trembling, got up and pulled out his dinky little revolver, holding it up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aha… AHA HA! Oh, NO! Kid’s got a gun! What’re you gonna do, huh? Shoot me? Oh, boy, once I turn off this gas, I’m gonna kick your ass so hard you won’t even be able to feel your legs…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Forzen reached behind his head, giggling the entire time, and with a pop, the gas dial came off. He blinked once or twice in surprise. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Heh… Haha… Uh oh.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Gordy… Schmordon… whatever your name is… give a guy a hand, would ya…?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gordon stood there, wracked with fear, but he did not move.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Forzen stumbled closer, growing weaker by the breath. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ha… Oh… I get it…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Man… what’d I ever do to you…?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gordon frowned, steeling himself a little. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not about what you did to me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s about what you did to him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Forzen looked confused. “Wh- Who.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then his eyes widened, realizing Gordon was talking about none other than Tommy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...Oh.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sank to the ground, letting out one last laugh before ceasing breath entirely.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And the dentist’s office was eerily silent.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Too silent.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“oh hey you killed that guy?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gordon shrieked, stumbling over himself and backing away from the window, which the body of Benrey had propped itself up on. Flies entered the dentist’s office, as did a vine or two. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“GAH! BENREY! JESUS! Scared the shit out of me!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Benrey leaned closer, waiting for an answer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...Listen. I didn’t kill him, okay? There was an accident with the gas and-“</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“niiiice,” Benrey interrupted him, coiling a vine around Forzen’s leg and dragging him through the window.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I thought you needed my help to get the body from Coomer’s to here,” Gordon whispered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“yeah well i’m a growing boy.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“you just get back here, alright? we can have dinner for two.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“GROSS!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gordon sighed, leaving the office as Benrey left too, bonking his head on the sill on his way out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gordon felt… a lot of things.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had just seen a man die in front of him. So that was terrifying.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>BUT. Tommy was free, free from that terrible dentist… even if he wasn’t with Gordon, at least he wouldn’t be with someone so awful…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Benrey promised REWARDS. He didn’t know how they’d happen, but Benrey seemed so confident that he had no choice to believe him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So what’s a little plant food… right? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Everything go alright in there?” The secretary asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I feel like a giant weight’s been lifted on my back.”</span>
</p><p>
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</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>HI BET YOU NEVER THOUGHT THIS WOULD HAPPEN AGAIN. well it did. you’re welcome. kinda just wanted to write fuckery</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>YES i havent finished activating co-op ch 4 YES the muse struck me for something else entirely YES WE EXIST!! i wanted to just write a small thing for this cos im big brain and epic</p></blockquote></div></div>
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